Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: What to Do When Your Child Expresses Suicidal Thoughts
By Nicole Roder, LCSW-C, DBT-LBC
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a time to shed light on a topic that we often avoid due to stigma and fear. For parents, it’s frightening to imagine that this issue might affect your own kids. Sadly, suicide and suicidal thoughts impact many children, teens, and young adults. For that reason, we are focusing today on what to do when your child expresses suicidal thoughts.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that young people ages 10-24 years old account for 15 percent of all suicides in the U.S., and suicide is the second leading cause of death for this age group. All in all, there were 7,126 completed suicides in this age group between 2018 and 2022.
The rates of suicidal thoughts and behaviors among young people have increased in recent years. CDC data show that for every suicide death, there are 52 suicide attempts and 336 people who seriously considered suicide in the last year. One study found that 20 percent of teens have seriously considered suicide. The rates are even higher among American Indian and Alaskan Native teens (25%), girls (27%), and LGBTQ+ teens (43%).
These numbers may sound scary to parents, and justifiably so. Still, it’s important to remember that you are not alone, and there are steps you can take to help your child if they are expressing suicidal thoughts.
Recognize the Warning Signs
Before we delve into what to do when your child expresses suicidal thoughts, it’s important to be aware of potential warning signs:
- Talking about wanting to die
- Expressing feelings of hopelessness
- Saying that they feel trapped, or that their emotions are too painful to bear
- Giving away prized possessions
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Extreme mood swings
- Increased use of drugs and alcohol
- Changes in sleeping habits, like sleeping too much or too little
Keep in mind that some of these behaviors–like sleeping more often or spending more time alone– might be normal or age appropriate in small doses. If you are unsure whether or not your child’s behavior is problematic, you can consult with a professional.
What to Do When Your Child Expresses Suicidal Thoughts
1. Take it seriously
First and foremost, always take any mention of suicide seriously. Never dismiss it as attention-seeking behavior or a phase. The truth is that people do sometimes consider suicide to escape emotional pain and/or as a means to get attention. Regardless of the reason, they may follow through.
2. Stay calm and listen
It’s so hard to know what to do when your child expresses suicidal thoughts. For many parents, the natural reaction is to panic or become emotionally dysregulated. It’s important to stay as calm as possible, so take a few slow, deep breaths if you need to. Give your child a safe, non-judgmental space to talk. Your job is to listen without interrupting or trying to “fix” the problem immediately. What your child needs at this moment is to feel heard and validated.
3. Ask direct questions
Don’t be afraid to ask direct questions about suicide. Contrary to popular belief, talking about suicide won’t plant the idea in their head. Ask your child if they have a plan, if they’ve thought about when they would do it, or if they have access to means. This information is crucial for assessing the immediate risk.
4. Express your concern and support
Let your child know that you love them, that you’re concerned, and that you’re there to support them. Reassure them that they’re not alone and that you will get them the help that they need.
5. Remove access to lethal means
“Lethal means” refers to the tools someone plans to use to commit suicide. For example, if someone says they plan to overdose on medication, the medication is the lethal means. If your child has expressed a specific plan, take steps to remove access to the means they’ve mentioned. This might involve locking up medications, sharp objects, firearms, or other potentially dangerous items.
6. Seek professional help immediately
We know that it can be very difficult to access mental health care. Still, if your child is expressing suicidal thoughts, it is urgent that you talk to a professional immediately. Below is a list of resources to find help in a crisis. If you are unsure who to contact, you can always call 988 to reach the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They have counselors available 24 hours a day in English and Spanish. They can help you determine whether your child is at imminent risk and needs to be seen immediately, or if they can wait until you can schedule a session with a therapist or psychiatric provider.
At Gladstone Psychiatry and Wellness in Maryland, we offer a comprehensive, DBT-Linehan Board of Certification certified DBT program. DBT has been proven effective in treating suicidal thoughts and behaviors in adolescents and adults. Contact us at 443-708-5856 or dbt@gladstonepsych.com to complete an application.
7. Take care of yourself
This process can be emotionally draining, and possibly even traumatic for parents of suicidal kids. It is crucial that you take care of your own mental and physical health as well. This means getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, avoiding drugs and alcohol, exercising, and doing things that bring you joy. If you notice yourself feeling depressed or overwhelmed, talk to a therapist of your own. You can’t support your child without taking care of yourself first.
Suicide Prevention Awareness Month serves as a reminder that mental health is an essential part of overall health. By fostering open conversations, providing support, and seeking help when needed, we can work together to prevent suicide and promote mental well-being for all our children.
National and Local Suicide Prevention and Crisis Resources
Below are some resources for accessing mental health help in Maryland and nationally.
1. National Suicide Prevention & Crisis Lifeline:
– Dial 988 or click here to chat with a lifeline rep: https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
– TTY Suicide Prevention Lifeline for deaf and hard of hearing 24/7: Dial 711, then 988.
2. National Parent Helpline:
– Dial (855) 4 A PARENT ((855) 427-2736)
3. The Trevor Project
Suicide prevention resource for LGBTQ+ people.
Text “Start” to 678-678 or chat via their website at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
4. Sheppard Pratt Psychiatric Urgent Care in Maryland:
Phone: (410)-938-5302
Website: https://www.sheppardpratt.org/care-finder/psychiatric-urgent-care/
5. Maryland Crisis Response Services by County:
Howard County: (410) 531-6677
Anne Arundel County: (410) 768-5522
Montgomery County: (240) 777-4000
Baltimore County: (410) 931-2214
Baltimore City: (410) 433-5175
Frederick County:(301) 662-2255
Prince George’s County: (301) 429-2185
Harford County: (410) 638-5248