How to Stop Self Harm in Teens: What Parents Can Do
How to stop self-harm? When a parent discovers that their teen is self harming, this can be terrifying. Self-harm in teenagers is a complex problem that requires understanding, patience, and professional help. This article aims to shed light on what self-harm is, why teens engage in it, and how parents can help to stop self harm in teens.
What Is Self-Harm?
Self-harm, also known as self-injury, is the deliberate act of causing physical harm to oneself. It can take many forms, including cutting, burning, scratching, hitting, or picking at wounds. While cutting is one of the most common methods, it’s important to recognize that self-harm can manifest in various ways.
Melanie J Haynes, LCPC, a child and adolescent therapist at Gladstone Psychiatry and Wellness, explains the paradoxical nature of self-harm: “Although it might sound strange to non-cutters, self-injury creates a pleasurable sensation. The physical injury provides a brief shot of endorphins, a ‘feel good’ chemical that overcomes the pain of the injury and distracts from emotional pain and discomfort. When we find that a child is self-harming by cutting or any other means, it is important to seek professional help promptly.”
Why Do Teens Self-Harm?
Teenagers may turn to self-harm for various reasons, including:
- Emotional regulation: Self-harm can be a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or emotional numbness.
- Self-punishment: Some teens use self-harm to punish themselves when they feel guilt, shame, or self-directed anger.
- Seeking attention or help: In some cases, self-harm may be a way to communicate distress.
- Control: Self-harm can provide a sense of control, especially for teens who feel like their life is chaotic or out of control.
- Peer influence: Some teens may be influenced by friends or social media to try self-harm.
It’s important to understand that most people who self-harm are not doing it to attempt suicide. It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism. However, it can increase the risk of suicide and should always be taken seriously.
How Can Parents Help Teens Stop Self-Harming?
Discovering that your child is self-harming can be a shock. Nicole Roder, LCSW-C, DBT-LBC, a DBT Therapist at Gladstone Psychiatry and Wellness, acknowledges the range of emotions parents might experience: “Usually, when a parent first discovers that their child is cutting, they feel a range of urgent, intense emotions. Some parents panic, others feel desperation, sadness, or shame. This is totally understandable. For people experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, it can be totally confusing and disorienting. Most parents simply don’t know how to help.”
Here are some steps parents can take to help their teen:
- Stay calm and non-judgmental: It’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding.
- Open communication: Create a safe space for your teen to talk about their feelings and experiences.
- Seek professional help: Consult with a mental health professional experienced in treating adolescent self-harm.
- Remove access to self-harm tools: While not a long-term solution, reducing access to items used for self-harm can help in the short term.
- Teach healthy coping skills: Help your teen develop alternative ways to manage stress and emotions.
- Practice validation: Acknowledge your teen’s feelings without condoning the behavior.
- Avoid punishment: Nicole emphasizes, “It is super important that you don’t punish the self harming behavior. This will only trigger shame in your child which might actually increase the likelihood that they’ll self harm again. Instead, we recommend that parents validate their teen’s emotions without validating the harmful behavior.”
- Encourage self-care: Promote activities that boost self-esteem and overall well-being.
- Be patient: Recovery takes time. Setbacks may occur, and consistent support is important.
- Take care of yourself: Seek support for yourself to maintain your own mental health during this challenging time.
How Does Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Help Teens Who Self-Harm?
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a comprehensive treatment program that has been proven effective in treating self-harm, especially among teenagers. DBT focuses on teaching skills in four main areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
Nicole explains the DBT approach to self-harm: “In DBT, we believe that self harm is the teen’s way of trying to solve another problem. The way we treat it is by helping the teen to identify the specific problem they want to solve and figure out a skillful way of doing it instead.”
DBT helps teens who self-harm by:
- Teaching mindfulness skills to increase awareness of emotions and triggers.
- Developing distress tolerance skills to manage intense emotions without resorting to self-harm.
- Improving emotion regulation to reduce the frequency and intensity of negative emotions.
- Enhancing interpersonal effectiveness to build stronger, healthier relationships.
- Providing a non-judgmental, validating environment that promotes change.
The therapy also involves individual sessions, parent and family sessions, group skills training, and phone coaching, providing comprehensive support for both the teen and their family.
Nicole also points out that teens who self harm are doing the best they can. This perspective helps to reduce shame and stigma, making it easier for teens to engage in treatment and work towards recovery.
Self-harm in teenagers is a serious issue that requires careful attention and professional intervention. As a parent, your role is to support your child and get them professional help. By understanding the nature of self-harm, responding with empathy and validation, and seeking appropriate treatment, you can guide your teen towards healthier coping skills and emotional well-being.
How Do I Find a DBT Therapist Near Me?
Gladstone Psychiatry and Wellness in Maryland has a comprehensive, DBT-Linehan Board of Certification certified program. This means that our program has been independently evaluated by the Linehan Board of Certification and found to have a high level of fidelity to the DBT model as prescribed by the creator of DBT, Marsha Linehan.
And we are excited to share that data gathered on DBT treatment at Gladstone shows that our program produces remarkable results. In the last year, our clients had a 98% reduction in psychiatric hospitalizations. We also have data showing that our clients experienced a substantial reduction in emotional dysregulation after completing our program.
If you are interested in your child receiving DBT therapy at Gladstone, please email us at dbt@gladstonepsych.com to receive an application.